You All right?

 

I had time, just enough to finish the document and get into the status call.

The customer was keen to be informed about latest progress on the project, this morning I have called all my team members, spread across the length of the country, to gather the data desired by him. Only if I can put all that into a spreadsheet in time.

“Sarojini’s data is updated and now the figures from Ramanujan in column Y” in these covid times, working away from colleagues, I often get into a conversation with myself in order to keep the social animal in me alive.

Few more minutes and I am done- I gazed toward the clock hanging in front of me when the meeting reminder tune emerged- both from laptop and mobile! My attention rebounded from the wall into the two rectangular screens which have become my life since the pandemic began.

Project Progress Call……………….5 Minutes

“Almost there!”, I snoozed the reminder(s) and started typing at the speed of thought, someone inside me wanted to avoid an angry customer and at the same time was hungry for a possible appreciation.

After finishing the chores of an early day, I had got my kid’s tablet ready for his online class and also managed to restore the depleting milk stock from the nearby grocery store while attending various calls from my squad. Followed by a hurried breakfast and a dozen of arguments with my better half, I had all the daily doses of the new normal.

Project Progress Call………………. Now

I clicked the Join button and was all set to impress the prey when ringtone of an incoming call from my mobile filled the room.

Waiting for others to join

The message on the laptop clearly indicated that the customer was yet to join the meeting. I switched to my mobile to check who was calling at such an inappropriate time, it better not be Preeti again telling me to change any of the values from her update!

Sahil-School calling…

What! After so many years and out of nowhere. Someone inside me urged to disconnect instantly but a quick glance to the meeting room indicated that there was no other participant other than me. I muted my meeting line to answer the call- firmly resolved to simply tell Sahil to call me later and how busy I am right now, the socialite in me can wait!

“Hello, Sahil actually I am…”

“You are there …. I mean you are ok right” came as a response

“Yes Sahil” before I can come to the point and tell him to connect later, he stated

“It is so relieving to hear your voice Da, I wasn’t so lucky in my past two calls”

“What do you mean” I enquired

“Majumdar an old college friend, you don’t know him and Gaurav from my last company didn’t survive this wave” he informed

I was silent, was he just checking if I was alive!

“Hello! how is the most efficient Project Manger today” came a voice from my laptop looks like the customer has finally joined the meeting.

“But you don’t worry” Sahil continued “Most of us from our gang are okay, Mohan, Asif, Gajanan and even the Sick-leaver Sanku are fine”

“Oh, Sanku the ‘Sorry madam-I-was-absent-yesterday-because-of-fever’ guy! How is he? did not hear much about him after school” my conversation with him took the next step when my memory hit a forgotten chord.

“Yes, the very same, I got in touch with him recently when he dropped an oss message for oxygen in the what’s-app group”

I cursed myself for muting that ever-popping group on my phone, “Looks like you are on mute Mr P.M” came a sound from the meeting window.

Moving away from the laptop I asked my old friend “So did he manged to get it?”

“Not sure, he was still hunting for it but it was for his uncle so I guess he must be okay” Sahil consoled.

“Mr P.M you can share your screen with the status if unable to mute yourself” this time an instruction was fired from the meeting room.

“Ah sorry I did not realize that you must be busy, carry on. I just called to….”

“…to check if I am alive?” I filled in his statement

After a moment of silence, he just manged to blur out in a croaky voice “keep calling or drop a message here and there Da” the line went dead.

“Are you there Mr P.M” the laptop was glaring out now

I locked the room, the sound diminished as I reached the roof of my building.

I had time, just enough to check if my roots are still around, and dialled a long-forgotten number

“Hello Sunku, it’s me – did you got the Oxygen?”

Freeze the time

Do we do what we want to do, or we do what we are compelled to do
We say to have our say, or we say to repeat what was said
We hear what others want us to hear, or we hear because we are here
Do we see what we see, or just fantasize to see what is shown

It is possible to live, without living the life we want
Challenge will be to see oneself in the eye
It is possible to kill the dream, without giving it a try
Challenge will be to have a peaceful night

Yes it is possible to follow the order, without using your mind
It will be tiresome to hear your own calling then

Begin Again

Lost the passion and missed the stride

Life sometimes becomes a compromise

Searching! limits itself to the scrolling of a feed page

Looking within never reaches the in-progress stage

The story repeats itself after every few years
Imagining a future still never disappears

Reaching a target set by others becomes the task to contribute

Self-chosen path seldom comes during recalculating the route

Longings finds a voice sometimes in a self-righteous debate

But losses the decibel level while following the Sisyphus trail

The reminder pops up after every few weeks
Still hopeful of awakening the beast

Solitude becomes a difficult time to pass

Finding a Mind simulation becomes the top task

Operating the apps fits in these criteria

But the reality has a larger coverage area

There is an inner call which is awake every minute and second

The day you meet yourself, is when you can begin again

My Conversation with a Poem

One day an incomplete poem walked over a coffee
Oh! How are you, long time since you inspired me
I remember how those thoughts were sewed through the words you derive
And then assemble them for hours before dismissing the theme
Nothing satisfied you till it said what you mean

Taking another sip I enquired what brings you here
Oh! I am always around just waiting to be discovered
I remember how you used to chase me with queries unlearned
Plucking every word with a chisel in the hand
When a poem called you used to respond

Keeping the cup down a polite I comprehended
Oh! That was just immature inquisitiveness about all unidentified
After learning the rules of the world it seems just a waste of time
An unproductive act is not forgiven at all
One cannot cross the road without paying for the toll

The coffee in the container was still warm
Oh! So you think you need to pay for everything you have
Did you bought the senses which measure the quality of your drink
How much did you pay for the mechanism which will help you digest
And what is the price of thoughts which this solitude will generate

The only response I had was to ask for a paper and a pen
Oh! You cannot win against an idea which has awaken
Feelings seldom comes unaccompanied by words
A thought is a poem and a poem, just a thought
When you stop thinking then only you are lost

A Blank Page and few thoughts

An unknown road and plenty of time
it does get exciting than that
but an immovable rock and your old gang from college
it doesn’t get enthusiastic like that

A sandy beach, a drowning sun and an irresistible smile,
it may get hypnotic than that
But a break up song an old pal with vintage wine
It doesn’t gets passionate than that

A packed suitcase, a vacated room and a drop at the corner of eye
your day might get gloomier than that
but a rainy day, a flooded street and a sight of a sailing paper boat
it doesn’t gets nostalgic like that

A barren mind, lot of office work and zeal to break the cage
it often gets stimulating than that
but an endless sea, an approaching cliff and an urge to jump
it couldn’t get crazier than that

A blank page and overwhelming thoughts
it doesn’t get inspiring like that
and sometimes, just you and me
Life just can’t get better than that

Two incomplete Poems

Her's

In the stillness of gloomy night, when my captivators will take a lazy stride
Gathering all my courage, I will sneak out of this cage

First I will sing out loud, then fly to the nearest cloud
I will pluck the tiny twinkling stars, and place them in my pendant bar

I will clear the fog off the horizon, to have a view of the rising sun
No one can claim the terrain, between me and my only one

...

His

You are nothing but an imagination of an insane poet

Reality is nothing but an illusion you can’t forget

I am unconscious, but is conscience my saviour?

Life is not a dream, but it is the never ending dream I am asking for

...

Me,no more

Fortunately I turned, hesitation hinder covering the distance
After a gallon of blood went around my veins, I finally crossed the expanse
Neither me nor the other spoke for another million blinks
Stranger finally had to go, oh I am going to miss the beats

Before the next sunshine could cover open miles
I realized, long ago I had stopped saying good byes

Gradually I went ahead chasing another smile
After all, there must be a reason to stay alive
neither me nor that grin continued there for long
Spark finally faded, but I am going to redeem the points

Before the moon could disturb the harmony of the blue
I asked myself, when did I stopped saying love you

Purposefully I averted my eyes, it was not hard to get into disguise
A shadow of my past has just come across the terrain
Neither me nor my bygone era had anything to say
Stranger may it may sound, guilt always finds a way

Before any conversation we were on our separate journey
I couldn’t resist but recognize, for ages I stopped saying sorry