Black & White

A Complainer Cries…

Have a date with the Gods with special offer

Blessing on auction and relations for sale

You are offered Happiness if qualified and mercy if quantified

You are healed if essential and cared if influential

You are recognized when loud and awarded if allowed

Sympathy for the victimized and empathy if personalized

Accepted if deceive but rejected when reality perceive

Condemned if you inspire and crowned when conspire

Reincarnated if you die while cremated when still alive

and a Hope rebounds...

Sun rise and sun sets and in between God exist

Temperature soars and faiths combat in between morality persist

Dreams die and creation fails and in between a hope remains

Love surrenders and happiness shatters and in between courage prevails

Civilizations extinct and cultures defy and in between a generation flies

When a millions die, somewhere a new born also smiles

When cruelty peculates then humanity nominates

Epitah: How would you like to be remembered

At the end he stood and kept his attachments aside
At the end he raised and abandoned his desires

At the end he found his wishes and then hushed them
At the end he felt but left his sorrows behind

As he walked he found himself being stared at
One was he-himself and the other was his name

And then he chose to walk with himself
and left his name alone

The Fresh and the Charmless: I don't know why I wrote this! 2

“These flowers are fresh and going to be like that for a long haul” the shopkeeper said to me.

They were indeed new but I had doubts about his second statement, still $10 didn't seemed much.  

I took my hands to the back pocket to seize my wallet but before I could pay him my attention went towards the direction of a jubilant crowd which just emerged from the corner of the street.

They must be from a novel batch which has joined a software company, identifying this category was easy: ID badges with a bright visible strap, neat and fine tailored outfit and choice of an up-market hangout place. The blood in their veins was indeed fresh and an optimal mixture of gender had made the group lively. Their faces were radiating progressive energy with a pinch of innocence.

I could see their shadows which reminded me of my own once upon a time.

“As I said these are the best flowers available on this street” the shopkeeper said while his eyes kept oscillating between my wallet and me. I became a little conscious but for curiosity I scanned the marketplace. I was neither the only customer nor he the only vendor but there were many stranded figures like me who got lost when that cluster assembled at corner. Just like me I found many of them gazing at them, like their eyes were searching for themselves.

They were playing around and cutting jokes and comments like carefree souls, I somehow sensed that everyone observing them or pretending to avoid them are having the same feeling:  I too was once like them.

Whether this was true or a part my imagination, the thought raised one question “How long are they going to stay like that?” I didn't realized when my self-talk gained sound

Hearing this shopkeeper rose a perfect sales pitch “As long as you want them to be Sire” I looked at him and found a nicely placed smile there, he continued “These flowers are nature’s gift to us.” and my eyes turned towards the group having fun while listening to shopkeeper “If you want them to stay in this way then keep them in their natural habitat: earth – water and sunlight”

He did answer the question, liveliness remains when setting sustains. But how is it applicable to this bunch of youth who are soon going to be captured by a volatile and contaminated corporate world. Their aspirations are going to carry them away from each other and from themselves shattering this happy setting.  Their internal egos are going to be clashed powered by the lust for pseudo labels which the ‘commercial’ will keep at stake.

Life sustains but charm doesn't, the loss of innocence also takes the magic away.

He almost thrust the flowers in my hand as I was proving to be a customer who needs a push to buy. It broke my chain of thoughts. I handed him the money and walked with the flowers.

Based on true incidents, they happen when you just pass by. Don’t forget the popcorn when you enjoy the show.

Don't know why I wrote this!

He was one of them. The ones who when fail to earn, fail to eat and fail to feed. He was one of those who fought this battle daily: not to live, but to survive.

Today he had an extra reason to earn as there was a new mouth to feed. She came to this world in exchange of her mother.

It was difficult to get to work, especially while standing with 40 others in a pickup truck and carrying her in his arms; there were none to look after her back home.

The construction of the new mall had begun like many others; he was one of the first to visit but never to return. Not that he disliked them, but a thirsty throat could cost more than what he could earn in a single day. These buildings when finished became the playground for the rich and amateur, but before all that it is the shelter for him and the baby.

Today the construction would not stop and neither could she. He didn’t hear her calls but could sense the vibrations in his heart. Many times he came down from the 12^th floor just to see if she is ok. But a hungry soul doesn’t seek love. He could feed her only after he gets his wage when his extended shift gets over. A few hours more my child, a few more

Today he will buy her milk and baby food, he can eat tomorrow. He will also buy a new pillow which will act as her bed -Manage today my child on the floor.

Keeping her back is shade of concrete, he flee to his work location. No matter how much work he put in the hours they were going to pass with their own pace. Pilling up bricks he resolved that she will not just survive but live. He will get her the best of meals so what if he had to work over hours, he will do it for her. It’s not a promise of a helpless labor but a committed father.

As the sun went down his hope to feed her went up. He stood in the longest queue to get his due. On his return the soul has left her body as hunger spares none.

Getting to work on the next day was imperative, as he had an extra reason to earn. Funeral cost more than a meal, but still it’s less than the will to survive.

Based on true incidents, they happen when you just pass by. Don’t forget the popcorn when you enjoy the show.

A Postmortem

It’s been a while since the “I” form came out of me to talk about him. Last time when I met him it was a decade ago and a lot has changed since then.

He was quite pleased with the way “I” was carrying “Him” now, but before the conscious times of my life I never thought us as two separate entities, only when I could observe him with his natural tendencies and make a judgment about his behavior, then the realization hit.

To introduce him here would be a tough task as there is no word in oxford dictionary which could possibly provide a precise identity. Now here is the story of how I met him and what I came to know about myself afterwards.

One day bothered about my restlessness a question arose from within “Why”

Then the next question “How did this happen with me”

And the final one hit me the hardest “What if I end up being unhappy”

As the Trinity suggested Neo “it’s the question which drives us”, I too was driven- Within.

To find the source of my anxiety and unhappiness I met another problem

“Why do I look for happiness?”

It is the basis of our very consciousness; we exist so that we can be happy.

“What is inside me who dictates the terms of happiness, what is the mechanism that’s churns out a happy mood?”

Something inside me; but what?

“Are you looking for me?” a voice came, I was all alone within myself and there was no possibility of anyone else being here.

“Yes maybe, but who are you and how come you speak to me” I enquired

“Oh that’s not tricky at all, I am nothing but your own tool to observe and feel the world”

This was strange and quite new for me; the eagerness grew more “You are a tool of mine like my sense organ or something”

“Well the sense organs are my tools, not yours. I am the one who use them to help you understand the world”

“So you are my brain?” I asked him assured that I have recognized him

“No, mind is also one of my tools which process the information and stores it, like the CPU of a computer but not the computer on its own” the voice replied

“Then who are you to be precise” a desperate me pleaded

“Well do you know who you are at the first place or you want me to help in introduction” there was some sarcasm in the sound

What could I do, I went in to know about happiness and ended up with this bugger. But the question he posted was an important one “Who am I”. I have been inquisitive about it since long and today this voice is offering me to introduce, not a bid to decline

“Oh yes please do let me know who I am, will be very pleased to know” I said

“OK so here it is, imagine yourself being void of senses” the voice instructed and a desperate me to know about myself followed. The imaginative applications made me believe that I have no sense of touch, no sight, could neither hear nor taste anything.

“Now flush out all the emotions out of your system” the voice instructed again

And I again made all feelings go away, I was not powerful or week, there was no joy or sadness; I was neither scared nor peaceful.

 A mind feeding on emotions was vacant.

“Now tell me” the voice asked “What do you need”

There was no desire or fear inside hence there was no want as well.

“Nothing” I replied

“This is you, a pure entity which is nothing but content with just being what is”

My mind went contemplative, is this that simple?

“And this is when I come into the picture” the voice said “the pure form need to observe the world to stay in it. To survive it needs a sense of surroundings and a mind to process it- thus you got a Body”

So this body is not what I am.

I was listening

“Body gives you the senses but you are an independent entity, as a soul you cannot control the body on your own hence you need a medium to connect with body and the world: that’s me” he said.

“But I can look and feel the world with the help of my body and sense organs, why do I need you?” I asked

“Ok so let me ask you this, a car is driven by its engine or its fuel?”

What kind of question was this but I had to respond “A car is driven when a fuel burns and engine uses its power”

“So you are saying that an Engine needs fuel to run the car, and without it cannot?” he asked again.

“Yes I agree”

“Similarly you in spite of having a body cannot run it without me, I am the subtle you who drives you often” he explained

“You drive me, how is that possible as you are supposed to be my tool” I asked

Imagine you have a servant and both of you indulge in doping, he helps you getting it and you depend completely on him. In this scenario would be able to have command on him?

No was an honest reply, I went further in thinking, if this is true then my desires and habits makes me weak and him stronger, this way I lose control on him and he feeds on me!

“But what is your nature and how do you survive?” perhaps I wanted to know him better to have a superior control.

He continued “I constantly look for some engagement and could end up doing something unwarranted if not provided with clean options, and you have to provide me with it”

“I didn’t understand”

“See whatever you eat – drink – listen or see gives me shape, example if you feed me with pure properly fresh cooked food then I desire it only but on the contrary if you feed me with alcohol and rotten food then I desire that. In both the cases if you let me lose and just watch over- you will find two different set of behavior, which will directly impact you. “

So to be happy he must be in control, for him to be in control I should feed him with proper Food, Thoughts, visuals and sounds so only appropriate desires arise. My happiness depends on my desires and desperation to fulfill them. If it depends on a person, event or materialistic goals then it is guaranteed that I won’t end up happy.

Even after this life changing conversation I have found myself in unhappy situations but at least I knew the cause and the resultant frustration hardly appeared.

Everyone can be Happy – Terms and Conditioned applied.

A Selfie of Emotions

I love myself of being kind
and hate to be cruel inside

I love myself to be unbound
but hate it when my reach is confined

I like myself to be strong
but still carry my weakness along

I love myself to be polite
and hate for being an unheard voice

I love myself of being tolerant
and hate when I am pushed beyond its end

I love myself of being neutral
but hate it when can’t stand by truth

I love myself of being a devotee
and hate when I suppress an independent thought

I love myself of being assertive
but hate when my arguments turn manipulative

I love myself of being sure
but hate when thoughts turn uncertain

I love myself of being human
but hate when I become a silent spectator

I love myself for being alive
but hate when some inside dies

I love being myself
but hate when the originality surrenders

Name-Sake

In The Name of Love I submit
and for the sake of lust I confront

In the Name of unity I rise
and for the sake immunity I fall

In the name of History I breed
and for the sake of future I bleed

In the name of adventure I fly

and for the sake of pain I cry

In the name of truth I evolve
and for the sake of destiny I return

In the name of goal I walk
and for the sake of glory I talk

In the Name of life I breathe
and for the sake of death I live

In the name of god I pray
and for the sake of self I deny

In the name of feelings I strive
and for the sake of living I am alive

The most powerful?

And I met him finally on the shores of an exuberant life

A million waves of queries started hitting me from all sides

His presence was omni but couldn't make out the shape he carried

All I could see was nothing but what I could feel was infinite

Are you the most powerful in the world came straight from my heart

"No" was a blunt reply "but go and seek the answer with all your might"

And I drifted from the shore to reach the footsteps of a mentor

A million devotees were following him with a surge out of control

His directions were simple and easy to follow around

All I understood was he is no ordinary man to be found

Are you to most powerful in the world I asked to pacify my doubt

"No" was a blunt reply "but go inside and there’s a truth you may find"

And I shifted my focus from out to inside

A million thoughts started poring to win my mind

Out of them it was the “Hope” which caught my eye

I was filled with optimism of finally getting what I want

Are you to the most powerful in the world as if I knew it was my final call

"No" was a blunt reply, "but keep walking and you might meet him after all"

And I wasn't sure where to proceed to continue my search

A million answers and nothing that satisfied my thirst

In this journey I felt I had hit a dead end

Did I got something which can prove my instrument

Are you the most powerful in the world came as a lightening query

"Yes" was the blunt reply and it came straight from the Will I carried in my heart

With You

 On a sunny day when the heat was low

I reached the most picturesque scene in the row

The glittering surroundings invited me to embrace

I was standing there and it was no race

But instead of plunging into the sea of beauty 

I stood there to stare at the infinity

Being there alone was a strain

I promised to come back here with you again

At another turn stood a fascination of the world

One would have done anything to get sold 

the charisma of the ambience began to shower it's grace

And I stood there mesmerized by the place

But instead of surrendering myself to the divinity

I stood there untouched by its prosperity

There was no effort to get myself refrain

I just promised to come back with you again

A little bit

Majority choose love over peace of mind

And you are not one of a kind

For those who never had an opportunity

Disappointments are not your destiny

Other than a pile of rudeness we daily receive

A little bit of love is what we need to give

A proportion surrenders to direction of the wind

Something stops them to make the strive

For those who never dare to reach out loud

There are a million other ways to make you proud

Other than the harshness of world that we obtain

A little bit of spirit is always there to gain

A few of them often miss what is there to see

And get loose over a dose of fantasy

For those who never gets the taste of their choice

A recipe is always in waiting to give a try

Other than the loss of expectation which we create

A little bit of hope is all we can get

A chosen few still mind their way

Instead of solving the puzzle of the day

For those who cannot survive the misery on offer

How can you forget the prospect of bliss of shower

Other than the sadness of world willing to kill

A little bit of life is all we live