What am I thinking anyway

Never before and absent in all forecasts
The present is often omitted in a canvas
A regret of past and worry of tomorrow
A time puffed out in an attempt to swallow

Celebration ends and justification instigate
In a half aimed shot a life goes to waste

Always ahead and unmissed from the chase
Lime light is often proven extortionate
A web could get lost in its own maze
Or a charm fall in an attempt to elevate

Arrogant and just to shine, we put an unwanted disguise
If it’s unreal then that mask will break

Can we run and hide at one go
Introspection never gets that low
Light is pursued and darkness averted
Life never guarantees a bouquet of florets

In a race to be admired one becomes a victim of desire
like a concert pass which is once our only target

and then washed away in the pocket

Growing Up

Diapers were still around and vocabulary had a distinct sound
anything new was miraculous, that timid period was so fabulous
Being a toddler in the bearer’s lap, dependency and the giant gap
May be that was when I first wondered, am I gonna grow up like others?

Surrounded by matching minds, my pen drew similar lines
anything new was now a lesson, that liberated period was still in congestion
Being a preteen under surveying eyes, my mind searched where opportunity lies
Hesitant but still strong, the mystery towed along how am I gonna grow up now?

Uncertainty grew at a rapid rate, every year was a big intake

anything old or new was a confusion, that period was so inconceivable

Being a teen behind an introspective veil, there was no one but self to explain

Stronger than ever the spirit called out loud when am I gonna grow out of this?

Days came and years surrendered, the thoughts grew out of proportion

anything around had the same sound, but still had the influence to bound
When I turned adult? I still couldn’t point, it went unnoticed like the heartbeat
By the time I realized the question had a never ending hum why did I grew up after all?