Can a friendship survive tests of Competition?

Friendship builds and grows in all sorts of environments.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one"

Relationships can begin in easy, hard or the most challenging times. It is simple to depict that if environment survives so do friendship. But as the law of nature says, nothing is permanent…

Every relationship is greeted with a favorable setting to grow, but to expand and reach a glorified completion it has to pass through trouble times.

Trees and herbs adapt them self with changing seasons but a sudden shift in basic environment can prove to be fatal and changes are easily visible.

But when a relation moves from one atmosphere to another, not all changes are evident. These changes originate in individuals in form of ambitions, desire and an appetite for win in the new surroundings. The relation starts producing results as the favor and trust from previous seasons still continues and people feels we are strong to be together, but a hair line fracture has already made a mark in the ankle of friendship by this time.

The friendship which was for no specific reason and was merely for each other’s company has suddenly a reason to grow. As far as the relation is fruitful and helping the individual to prosper the term “friendship” is acknowledged and celebrated among them.

But as the hunger grows for reaching the higher stairs this cooperation converts into using each other for reaching various steps of Success Ladder

Then without realization the friendship is poisoned by dishonesty and it goes into a pretend mode.

Sooner or later, sometime or the other these once friend do realize that it is not the same person.

What can be done in wake of such realizations?

Can friendship survive such a scenario?

. . . True friendships can, opportunist never last

"Sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends." I know not everyone is fortunate in that respect.

How can you identify if a person is telling you the truth or a lie?

How to identify True and Lies

The Words spoken are generally considered as the only criteria of verifying the authenticity of the matter. These words can be of your friend, colleague, relative or partner.

Don’t you trust me?

You think I am lying to you?

Why would I lie to you anyway?

These sentences are a part of a frequent liar’s vocabulary.

But there are a few factors which can help you place the truth/lies behind the words

Note: The traits discussed here should not be applied to a stranger rather implemented on a close ally.

1. Observe the speed of words flowing out:
Is it the same rate at which this person talks? Generally when a person lies his subconscious mind doesn’t agree and is not in synch with the conscious counterpart. This subconscious state pushes the liar to complete the lie sooner and hence his speed varies based on his capability of handling the pressure…

a. If he speaks very fast than usual over a matter which is critical for both you, just don’t go by his words.

b. If he stammers a bit then even a deaf person can observe his anxiety by watching his lips movement, his honesty is away from him and this is making him stammer.

c. If he is speaking at a regular tone but for a word or two you see him manipulating or giving it a bit extra thought. This is because he is still framing his lie and telling you at the run time. You can easily catch his expressions!!

2. The eye can tell you all
Eyes are the mirror of our soul and God has made it using the same material which he is made of. Soul never lies and so couldn’t eyes. But the art of controlling emotions and manipulating expressions can compel an innocent entity like eyes to lie. How do you tackle this situation?

Start staring at the person’s eyes while he is speaking

a. Constant gaze without a blink.
He replies to your gaze with a constant fix on your eyes. He doesn’t blinks or moves his eye balls even if it crosses the comfort period. He wants you to believe that he is confidant and wants to show you the same.
Here his desperation to make his words believe is exposed and hence a doubt on his intention spreads up.

b. Avoid the look and covering it with a fake smile.
Your look is making him nervous and he knows that he is lying. To avoid getting caught he tries to be cool and doesn’t maintains a protracted eye contact.

c. Keeps looking at you after he is finished speaking.
This act is again to show his confidence. An honest person who has spoken the truth has a believe in his eyes whereas a liar has a question in his eyes. He is constantly thinking that whether his lie has worked? Does he believe me?
A question in the eyes after speaking shows no confidence.

3. Considering a situation where he or she can benefit from lying to you. The person becomes over friendly, considerate and tries to win your confidence.

4. Scratching head and swallowing more than usual:
This shows his nervousness and his under confident in the subject. His change of behavior can easily be observed as this is not what he generally does.

These observations can be a part of an honest person telling you the truth but is under pressure of being examined and behaving like a liar because of being under pressure. That is why it is advised that you should apply the above techniques only with those whom you know very well and you are aware of their general behavior.

Next Blog: How to identify if a girl is hitting on you ;)

The Chemistry of Human Relations

Today the subject is Chemistry

This time I will touch a few subjects which we learned in our academics but we use them in our daily life in a slightly disagreeable format. The subjects were thought to us for the educational use but unconsciously we utilize the theories in our everyday activities.

Na + Cl = NaCl Common Salt

The most common chemical equation known to man and the resultant happens to be the most extensively used. But there is more to chemistry than just adding taste to our food.

“The couple looks great they share an excellent chemistry”
What exactly is the meaning of it?
This statement reveals a lot about the role of this subject beyond our text books and into our lives. There is certain level of charisma which is sparked when the “critical mass” is present.

Critical mass
Chemical Definition: The smallest mass of a fissionable material that will sustain a nuclear chain reaction at a constant level
Economical Definition: The minimum amount (of something) required to start or maintain a venture.

Life’s Definition: the presence, physical or superficial, of a person who is enough to bring smile on your face.

Chemistry of life also covers following

Whenever you are in rhythm with what you are doing…
Whenever there is someone with whom you easily feel connected and enjoy being with…
Whenever everything just fell in places and you can smell the roses without a spring…
It is when you feel you can conquer the world come what may…
How is it achieved?
Be in resonance with nature, people and events around you.

No matter how many test tubes you broke in chemistry lab or how baldy you score in your chemistry viva voice… you can segregate the wisdom knowledge and concentration to write the most effective and widely used chemical equation for bringing the taste in your own life.

Happy Refining !!

Mathematics of life

This time I will touch a few subjects which we learned in our academics but we use them in our daily life in a slightly disagreeable format. The subjects were thought to us for the educational use but unconsciously we utilize the theories in our everyday activities.

Today the subject is Mathematics

One plus one is equal to two but this equation is true only in theoretical implementation of mathematics. Like other subjects math is also an integral part of our day to day life.
Every day we use formulas to manipulate people and situations to the best of our aspirations. For example:

Divide:

We divide two people because their combined power could never let us win.







Addition:

We introduce our friends and acquaintances with each other as we thought that united, we can achieve a constructive goal.

Subtract:

We break relations that are no longer full filling and could harm our future prospects. Divorce and breakups are common.







Multiply:

We do everything to increase our earning, social status and popularity. This particular formula dictates most of our actions.












Those who were not very good at mathematics takes more than usual to understands the manipulations. A sharp mind with a genuine ability to play with numbers and formulae are fast learners and rise up the ladder of progress much faster.
So throw away that calculator, the more you calculate in peace less you lose in trying times.

Is “Love” a monopoly of lovers?

The most talked about emotion: Love

Love is undoubtedly and unanimously most influential and redefining feeling of all time, surpassing the boundaries of all ages and nations. A friend recently quoted Shakespeare “Journeys end in lovers meet” at that moment it struck me…

“Wait a minute we were talking about Love but why are you telling about Lovers?”

To this she replied “Off course who can define love better than lovers?”

Is this true that “Love” is a monopoly of lovers?

That means if a guy or gal doesn’t have a partner and had not yet pronounced “I Love you” to another soul, he or she is completely deprived of love, its meaning and the magic which it is supposed to carry.

What about the love we do with our parents

We love our work

We do love a certain kind of food

A place we love to visit

A piece of music which elevates our heart in joy

… and a million other things which keeps our heart pure and healthy as we love.

So if you don’t have a partner ( a girlfriend/boyfriend) then you can easily feel as delighted as the couples who claim to have found heaven on earth.

A Love story is not necessarily a story of two people; it can be about all that we love between the Sun rise to the Sun set and beyond… only it is yet to be written

Happiness and the mystery associated

What exactly are the ingredients of life which makes one happy and content. Let’s look at few options we have and make a list of ingredients which will make a perfect recipe to cook happiness for us

A healthy body and mind

Favorable circumstances of future growth

Having enough money which sends compromises out of context

Something to eat

Something to drink

Someone to love

The list looks quite impressive and fulfilling. Having these things in life will make us successful, desirable and happy, or will it.

Let’s take out one of the items, say health from the list what do we have now. Good growth prospects, money and every luxury but with a bad stomach it’s kind of tricky to enjoy the remaining set of ingredients. So Health becomes a compulsory element for our recipe.

This time we keep health and remove future growth prospects. Well a worried mind and uneasy feeling fills our mind. Definitely not a good place for survival of happiness. Worry should not be present and hence we cannot neglect future.

Ok then let’s remove money from the list. Ouch it hurts to make compromises and shrinks the DNA responsible for our happiness. Ok we cannot be happy without money.

Something to eat, something to drink and someone to love you are the grand essentials of happiness. So putting it all together we have to have all for sustaining or happiness.

Result of our cooking today, we cannot cook happiness in state of missing any of the essential material, or can we?

These factors are mandatory and completely unavoidable because we make them obvious. The happiness which depends on people things and events is like a fireplace which always needs fuel to sustain fire.

Happiness is a simple thing, it is just the absence of sadness…

Are we what we think we are or the one that others think of us?

Are you actually yourself when with others or just playing your role which best suits your image in front of them. Their choice becomes yours… and so easily you forget that it is soft music that you like and not the hard rock stuff.
Why?

The situations like being humiliated in childhood for reasons like looks, unable to speak, failure to do a task can have two radically different consequences…
Some people opt for revenge and try to be really good at things what others thought they are not good at.

Others however accept their limitations and then things go from bad to worse. They grow up being insecure and obedient although they dream one day they will be free and do whatever they want. They get married to prove they are not ugly although deep down inside they still believe they are.

They are entrapped by a syndrome when they forget who they are and start believing what other people say about them. They lose their sheen and give up the innocence they were born with. Gradually over the years they become mediocre beings concerned not to be seen as weird and over enthusiastic.

Being accepted becomes more important than being yourself

Can colleagues be your friends?

We found friends when we got in school… we met more in college and in neighborhood.

What about the pupil with whom we share our work area and ambition?
Those who sit along with you around your cubicles and cabins, share a laughter gossip around but are your competitors. This competition in not like the one which persists in educational institutes.

This one is fierce cut throat and inhuman. That smile and shower of concern can be dubious. It possesses multiple faces. If he is your friends then you have expectations

He will spare me from his clever and yielding plan of action

Will make me his ally

The truth is expectations are the termites of relationship. They make the bond hollow if unfulfilled.

The educations system recognizes everyone who performs but in profession life this is a bit different. The professional environment which only allows an exposed well connected and opportunist personality to reach the top. One kills his innocence as the prize to get the top doesn’t let anyone preserve it for long.
So can you call your colleagues your friend?

Keep your eyes and heart open, God chooses your relatives but you choose your friends

Are you also a Sisyphus in any way?

Recently read about a person called Sisyphus...

He is a man who's daily job is to roll up a stone to the top of a hill. He do not know why he has to do it but does it every day of his life.

When the stone reaches the top it rolls down and Sisyphus has to begin all over again.
It is futile
meaningless labour

There is a Susyphus in everone of us...

We go to a job daily which we donot like but do it every single day of our life. It is God's way of punishing pupil who do not and will not listen to their heart. People do not love what they do but they do nonetheless for the money which it brings.

Can we go back and make a brand new start...
Few qustions will come to our minds,

what about the loan I have taken?
what about the credit card bills?
how will I maintain my cozy life style?
Is it worth it to dig back your burried goals and bring tham back to life?

If you are the one with an answer "No" then you can easily crawl back to your comfort zone...
but if you are a thinker give it a thought.. if you are a dreamer, then dream now
and if you are a doer, then go for it

Similarities between 3-idiots and 5 Point Somenone

Its was amazing to see the makers of 3-Idiots to receive the awards for best screenplay and story. They thanked everybody but the source of their inspiration...

The two stories, Novel 5 Point Someone and movie 3 idiots, have different beginning and endings but the plot is same in many ways:

1. Five point someone was based on the story of three friends in the top ranking Engineering college of the country.

"3-Idiots" was different from it may be VVC (Vidhu Vinod Chopra) could shed some light on that

2. "What is a Machine" the question and definition of it was straight away picked up from FPS.

If makers of 3-Idiots claim to be original, why didn't they thought of an original question in more than two years they took for writing it.

3. Family Configuration of Alok: No difference in movie and the novel.

This could have been better Mr VVC to portray the pity family conditions of your "original characters"

4. How many sarees in an year are justified ?

The situation and interchange of dialogues between the characters in the movie when Raju mentions his family's financial condition are taken straight from FPS... Hope Mr VVC had read the book before saying SHUT UP to the press reporters.

5. The three friend break in their professor's house to meet his daughter.

The same situation in the movie too, how original?

6. Professor's Son suicide in the film by a train and he didn't knew it util told by his daughter when she shows him the suicide letter of her brother.

Well the makers couldn't think anything better than the same plot in from the novel.

7. One of the three friends does a suicide attempt on account of getting suspended.

The makers of the movie decided there could not be anything more convincing for a suicide attempt for a student. or could he??

8. Stealing of question paper from professor's office in night time, source of keys: prof's daughter.

yawn.... no comments this time considering the level of originality of the film makers.

9. One of the three friends leave his friends to live with the topper of the institute.

Good going Mr VVC

If you the reader of this blog is actually interested in making a decision about who was original among the two then it is a two step process:

Watch the movie

Read The novel- Five Point Someone by Chetan Bhagat

I did the same and my conclusion:

If there was an award for original story... 3 Idiots would have missed it by a giant leap.