The night was late in the midst of whispering sound of tranquility. The wind was firm not even willing to move the lone piece of paper from the tracks.
This area at the outskirts of the city was uninhibited with no trace of life. The only time this locality sensed a purpose was when a train passed from these railway tracks, thrice during the night. His gaze was still unmoved from the paper. ‘Precisely’ he thought. The paper was blank, never used for its lone purpose of existence. “Precisely” this time his lips produced sound.
He could see his whole life written on that paper as he crouched to sit adjacent to the tracks. A life as insignificant and worthless as it could. Zero achievements deprived of friends and no relation to cherish, a life consisting of nothing more than breathing and pumping blood. Not before long he graduated with an unknown degree, job was far from him and he landed as a sales boy at a book store. Surrounded by something he ran away all his life. Falling in an overly populated category of just about average never won him appreciation of any kind, not once from his parents neither from teachers and now nor from his boss. Leading an overly simple life landed him at a place where no one can single out a white sheep in a herd of millions.
But here his every movement was making a fuss in the surrounding. He raised his left hand to look at his wrist watch. It was twenty minutes pass one. He turned his gaze in a parallel direction along the tracks, ‘5 more minutes’ he thought. He kept looking in the direction until a flash came following a long howl. His eye lids went down for a moment when a beam filled the area. His serene gaze turned towards the illuminated paper.
The vicinity was observing its solitary moment of activity. The holler mingled with the beam, Doppler Effect filled the environment. The intensity of sound was increasing with the train approaching. He could feel that the distance between the paper and the engine was decreasing. The Wind surrendered its firmness to the heavy iron in motion. The paper vibrated for the first time as the changed environment was challenging its calmness. It vibrated for a few seconds and then shifted its location but before it could leave its patron the resilient steel was over it. Torn and defeated the paper scrap lost its existence the very second and disappeared with the giant which came along.
The sound displayed a negative trajectory as the source receded. After a couple of minutes the zone was back to its original state. No one knew that a left over piece of paper ever existed, but it was in his memory, especially the final moments. “Precisely” he spoke out.
He came in this world without any jubilation in the family, an unwanted child. He couldn’t seek attention of his fore bearer in a house full of unknown siblings, nor could he attract the girl he loved in a world full of charmers when he reached adolescence. The girl probably didn’t know his name just like others who studied or ever worked with him. The figures he earned in university didn’t give him any shield to save himself from the fierce competitors.
Ignored and left alone no one knew even if he existed. ‘So no one will realize that I am gone’ this belief brought him to this deserted place. May be when authorities will know an unknown being has surrendered to death he might get some attention or be the topic of discussion for a few. His whole life was worthless but his death can generate some sensation.
The watch said thirty minutes past one ‘One more hour to go’ he calculated the time when next train will pass. The time was fixed this hour is going to be his last one ‘The final hour’. He stood up and began walking parallel to the tracks. One look at the two iron rods and he realized they never meet but are responsible for many meetings and today they will fix his, with death. He froze for a moment and observed the silence was neither killing nor soothing. This silence was the last cruelty this world could enforce on him. A life deprived of choices made its final selection. The disappearance of the piece of scrap convinced him that his fate will be similar to it, the impact will be fatal and there are no chances of survival. He had visualized himself at the place of paper and seen his bones shattering and blood erupting out.
He sat at the same place, right at the middle of the two rods. He will not move but only the death can budge him. The surroundings were still calm and quite making him feel every single passing second. This sluggishness of moments will soon be over ‘be patient’ he reminded himself. But this long one hour could alienate his determination and might push him again to the world which means nothing to him. Just stick to it. Opposites attract and so did this moment of melancholy ‘were there any happy moments in my life?’ the thought crossed his mind. He didn’t have to search hard to fetch the lone moment; he clearly and distinctively could tag that brief period of his life to happiness.
He was standing in the middle of an overcrowded bus, the old man at the nearby seat suddenly raised to get down and like a trained hawk he grabbed his seat. Finally he got some relief from the heavy bag he had carried all day. He kept the bag on his lap and it slid down at the same moment. As he bent down to pick it up his sight fell at her standing legs. His eyes followed the silhouette and trapped at the face. Alone struggling in an ocean of men she probably was the only female traveler in the bus.
“Would you like to sit” he offered. The vibrant eyes turned towards him and her lips flashed a sincere smile. He stood up with his bag again on his shoulders and his torso churning with others. A gentle stoke at his back told him that she is calling “Let me hold the bag” the sweetest tone touched his ear drums. “It’s ok” was all he could utter with an exchange of a genuine smile from both ends. He would follow the same route at the same time just in hope to see her daily. And often he found himself lucky. Would struggle to get her a seat and she would appreciate his polite gesture every time with an honest gratefulness. Each time he would get her a seat he would be at the top of the world. This routine entered the third week when he was lucky enough to see her standing at the bus stop.
He held his breath and approached her when a flashing four door 6208 cc monster made in Germany with open roof skid brakes on the road. She responded to the greetings of the stud behind the steering and went in. As the car drove away a puppy came in its way. But an elicited driver with woman at his side didn’t bother and gave full power to the engine. He shouted aloud, her eyes moved to meet his for the final time and he never saw them again. How could an empty seat in a local city bus compete with the comfort of something carrying a 480 bhp engine? Car was over the trifling creature. His breath stood still for a second but the tiny one came unharmed as the tires couldn’t touch its body and the whole vehicle simply passed over it.
The whistle of the train brought him to the present moment. As he saw the train approaching he sensed that it could cut him any second. The memories of the puppy flashed in front of his eyes. What would that tiny creature had felt at that instant? With that thought he laid down. First the engine was above him and then one by one the preceding coaches, his malnourished body kept him away from the heavy iron. His eyes were open while the roller passing over him. He stood up unscratched just like the puppy. Having witnessed death by such closeness didn’t alter his determination.
Two gone just one more to go, the last train will come just before the dawn. He looked at his wrist watch again a couple of more hours to live. ‘I cannot die here have to search a perfect place’ was his instant thought.
After walking endlessly for an hour, his search for the sweet spot ended at a turn near a barren tree. Everything today was symbolic and compelled him to choose death over life. The extinguished lamp at the temple, the locked door of the shop he works, the dark road leading home, the blank paper and now the tree deprived of leaves. He sat at one of the iron rods of railway track overlooking the tree. Through its leave-less branches he could see the spot from where the train will arise. He knew this is a superfast express and there will be no turning back. He sat there constantly gazing between the lifeless trees awaiting his life taker. No last wishes, there were never any at first place.
Convinced not to move, he would come in direct contact with the mighty steel this time. He kept his gaze straight and unmoved passing through the lifeless branches. His thoughts started circling the tree ‘This tree is standing with hope of spring when it will blossom with buds, flowers and leaves, unlike me who has only one season- Fall. What is the use of standing when there won’t be any season of growth? I am just like the fallen leave of this tree which has no existence, just like that extinguished lamp and just like the blank paper.’
The flash of light coming from the engine fell on the tree and he knew that the final moment is here. The train was quickly covering its ground and the light coming from its engine was growing with decreasing distance. But there was something in those branches of trees that caught his eyes. ‘Is it? No way’
There just in the middle of those leaves less branches was a piece of paper; unaffected and plain, illuminating solely in its dark background. ‘How is it possible?’ was his instant reaction but the words which came his way were really transforming “Why?”
‘Why this useless piece of crap is still here? Why it hasn’t lost its existence?
“Because it is still not used” he heard this statement loud and clear.
This was a thunder lightening in the calm and cloudless night. Something out of the ordinary had happened in past three seconds and his mind surrendered to explain it. He turned his gaze and saw the superfast express approaching him. He started walking towards the engine.
As he had imagined the next three seconds proved to be fatal.
One step to the rendezvous, he crossed the tracks to reach out the tree and the train went past behind him. He stretched his arms and held the paper.
He took out his pen and inscribed the four letter word L I F E.
He looked up, to answer the voice he had heard “Precisely”
Mornings that comes with an unfinished dream
