She was in the next cubicle, always observing me with her hidden eyes. Never knew what was in me which made her appreciate my every stride. The innocence of her honest approach was not appealing for me but something dwelled inside me which was hungry for love.
The partition separating us was an object which she hated the most in this universe; she always found some excuse to spend time at the other side of it. I never gave her a bouquet of flower which she can sniff but if I talk about this or that kind of cutlery available in the market, she can listen to it all day. She cared too much, more than what I deserve or others can overlook.
I was the last person to know about her inner feelings after the entire bay started gossiping about us. One day I decided I should let her know that there is nothing inside me which longs for her. She just said, ‘when I pray, I see you’.
I could not grasp enough courage to crush her emotion which was devoted for me. I decided to give it a try; can love generate love inside me? May be she is the one who I am waiting for ages now. Without knowing her completely and understanding my sentiments about her I decided to go with the flow. Almost a decade of undesired single status pushed me more than anything else; a greedy fellow inside me was eager to fulfill his desires.
The more I tried to understand her the more she made me feel that how important I am for her. There was a degree of uprightness I felt when around her, knowing that you are appreciated and looked upon is something which every man desires and she made me feel the same. One day while walking with her on the shores of Arabian Sea I asked myself ‘Is it love or just my hunger for graciousness?’ I left the place there itself and spend the whole night on the terrace thinking about it. By morning I knew that this game of love in a pretend mode has to end.
There are explanations which are not easy but ……….. I looked into her eyes and was about to say when she raised her hand to keep her palm on my mouth. She observed my eyes for a moment she wasn’t smiling as if trying to read my mind, but she didn’t have the faintest of idea about what was going inside. After a moment she asked me to wait there and she rushed to go to the other side of the road to buy my favorite ice cream. I had chosen a pretty idealistic venue for my reverse proposal. While crossing the road she was constantly gazing at me. I was already feeling guilty and my effort to avoid her look reduced her speed of progression. I could look at her no longer as those eyes were filled with a million questions. She was still crossing the road and I turned my back towards her for a momentary relief from the unpleasant stare which was filling me with guilt.
I prayed to god to relieve me from this situation and he did it. The vehicle which was once my only way to commute during my struggling days had driven over few passersby and she was one among the less fortunate ones.
As I entered the ICU the only face I could see was of her soaked in blood. For two days I waited endlessly. She finally opened her eyes, this time there were no questions but the joy of finding me nearby. She couldn’t utter a word but gave me a stare which told me she knows now what was on my mind. You don’t have to make much effort to realize what is going in your partners mind, love them like crazy and their eyes will tell you all. I was going to leave her on the shores of Aksa beach that day but she left me instead after two days and I was sitting helplessly seeing her leaving her life in my hands. I couldn’t imagine ever finding love again as the unworthy ones can never have it.
Once she was a cubicle apart and now she is a heaven apart and of all things in this universe I hate heaven the most.
Was touched by the flow, good work
ReplyDelete